Man with mail at it again

Darnareus Corgarian
Staff Writer
Dec 18, 2017 12:34 PM
LOCAL SUBURBS, DOGLAND — Suspicious human carrying mail continues to terrorize local homes by dropping mysterious objects through the door at the same time every day.
What is he up to? No good, recent developments suggest.

Local doggos have reported spotting suspicious activity from the man with the mail for years now, and it seems that recent "see something, bark at everything" programs aren't effectively thwarting the man with the mail's efforts to infiltrate the home.

Theories on the mysterious man with the mail's objectives vary, but one thing all pups can agree on is that the central tactic the man with the mail employs is dropping mysterious paper objects through the house door. Most schools of thought agree that these objects are dropped in an attempt to establish a beach head for further incursions, and accordingly chew them all to shreds as soon as they hit the floor.

Unclear what lies ahead

Dogs will remain vigilant, but the central question remains: what is he up to? All that we can be sure of is that it's no good, and that at a minimum, dogs must continue barking like there is no tomorrow as soon as the man with the mail is spotted. Dog knows that cats are no deterrent — it is our duty to protect.

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